Yettikai rambling

Sometimes I think the best years of my life are over. Kasto pessimistic hai? I am normally not like this. tara budhi huna thale jasto cha ma. I feel scared. Just to think about withering years. I am the youngest of three sisters and I have always enjoyed being one. tara youngest nai bhaye pani, I am growing old. My sisters were both married at my age. My eldest sister gave birth to two daughters by this time. Ma chahi ajhai aafulai bacchha nai thanchu. Khaas thanchu chahi hoina, but I wish I could go back to my early 20s and give my age as an excuse for my naivete, for my mistakes, for my 'sab thikai cha ni' attitude..Aha! so now you know that I have crossed my early 20s..s**t...i don't like the sound of it.

Ali umer dhalkina thale pachi (o myaaannn, i do sound budhi here), your priorities change..your likes and dislikes change, your sense of style changes, your perspective towards world changes. You start attending so many wedding parties that it stops making sense, or alluring you. All my friends, classmates, colleagues, acquaintances, juniors, seniors, friends of friends and the whole world seems to be getting married. Fb kholna ni alchi lagna thali sakyo..kati bihe ko matra photos. Sabai behuli haru ramri dekhincha bihe ma...tara we still tell the behuli(s) that 'You made the best bride ever.' Weddings, while a sacred union of two people, has turned so much into this massive business that I feel...umm...i dont know what..may be disgusted..or may be a little less than disgusted. I cant seem to get the right word.

Tyestai, aajkal party haru ramailo lagna chodisakyo..i mean if i am given two options of either going out with friends or spending some time at home with those friends, I will undoubtedly choose the second option. Halla khalla dherai man pardaina. Some quiet time is all I need with my friends. Ramailo ta yettikai huncha tyespachi!

Ek dui barsha agadi jun group ma moj garinthyo, tyo group ta kasto distant lagna thalisakyo. I can no more relate to them. It is so strange but saanchi, tyestai huncha aajkal. I keep thinking about what caused this distance tara I don't have a definite answer. Uniharuka ra mera bichaar farak chan hola.

Aru ta tyestai ho, with passing age, you also realize the value of relationships, love, sacrifice. Pahila pahila, aafno baarema dherai sochinthyo, ahile tyesto hundaina. Maybe yasailai nai manche le 'you are growing wiser, and not older' bhanne gareka chan!

For you...A

A and I kind of grew up together, or thats how I see it at least. We were not friends since our 'diaper' days. It was late in life that our paths crossed. We were studying in different schools till our primary and ended up in the same school for our secondary education. I say we grew up together because for me growing up together means more than just playing hide and seek during childhood. It means growing up from being just school girls to mature women.

A was always searching for a 'best friend', someone she could share all her heart had. In school, our close circle of friends included seven of us. Each one of us had our own 'best friend' in the group, except for A. This was something too sad for her. I now find this word quite inappropriate. We have so many best friends in our lives that it is unfair to just call one person our best friend. But way back then, we did not look it that way.

My fondest memory with A is going to tuitions together. We both had bicycles but we loved walking together. So, most of the times, I would bring my bicycle, park it at her place and walk to the tuition centre. We would come back walking to her house, I would take my bicycle and ride it back home. Those were precious moments for us. We had so much to tell to each other, so much to share.

Soon after we passed our SLC, A came to Kathmandu for her High School and then she left for USA for her Undergraduate education. She was away for 6 years, and I wouldnt say that we were best at keeping in touch. We had our occasional updates, but nothing like good friends have. But friendship is a beautiful thing. Even after all these years, our bonding has remained the same. She came back to Nepal in 2010 and we still have so much to tell to each other, so much to share.

We have shared with each other the highs and lows of our lives. We have seen our relationships blossom, we have seen them crumble. We have laughed together, and we have cried together. We have loved each other and we have fought.

Just in few hours, she will be with her man. A was always a dreamer. She had a certain set of criteria for her good man. It would concern us sometimes. I mean it was hard to imagine a person with all the qualities that she wanted in her life partner. But here she is, ready to vow herself to this person. He must be special, for A has chosen to spend her life with him.

As she steps into her new life, I wish my friend, my best friend, all the happiness that she deserves. Mucho love.