I cant believe that I am writing after so long and yet all I can think about is desperation....This might not be a very good time for me. .there are mornings when I don't want to wake up because I don't want to go to office, there are days when I feel sad about myself, about the lack of excitement in my life, there are nights when I twist and turn in my bed because I can't sleep at the thought of 'certain things'. Just that such mornings, days and nights have turned out to be quite a common happening. I hate this feeling. I hate the overexpectations I have from my life. I hate it even more because I know that I am already getting a lot more than what most people get.
So, as such feelings of desperation rule over me, I try to think about the good things in my life, (there might not be many). And I can't help but smile. I realize that life is not such a bitch after all. It does give some magical moments. Those moments are defined by some special people, whose presence I absolutely value. I have friends who get me green bangles for Shrawan (not that I am fond of bangles and all that jazz), I have BFFs (we now call each other Sisters by Choice), who can brighten up my day with just a text, or a photo on our secret FB group :D, I have two most beautiful nieces who cling to me everytime I visit them (each time they insist that I stay back at their place. So what I dont have my night clothes. They are always ready to lend me their raincoats), I have a crazy group of people who has defined my life like no one else ever has. Its truly a matter of perspective. I dont know why but I always end up looking at the darker side of life while the brighter side is so much more prominent, so much more meaningful, so much more, so much more.
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